Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Birthday Week Begins ....... A Testimony of Victory

Birthdays are supposed to be happy, joy filled, celebratory times right? That is what I have always thought, a time to celebrate and honor, to embrace those we love. I LOVE to make a big deal over the birthday of a loved one, but oh no - not mine - do not make a fuss over me!! So it has been for the majority of my adult life. My birthday which is a week today has been a season of much stress, anxiety and sadness in my home for many years. My poor husband has tried and tried and tired to get it right. He didn't know and for a long time, I didn't either that he was doomed to fail no matter what he did. Stay with me, the story has a happy ending, but I need to dig a little deep to get there.
A few weeks back I posted Laying the Foundation this was the beginning of what I hope will be many more getting real and exposing the darkness to light posts. There is no question that He is calling me out of the darkness and into his marvelous light that I may proclaim His praises(1Peter 2:9) and give testimony to His goodness and powers of transformation in my life!!.......I'm going to bare a little here so if you don't want to know more than you already do.....this is a good stopping point ;-)
Several years ago now I began a wonderful journey through a ministry that I was introduced to at our church. Elijah House Prayer Ministry Training, brought me to an opportunity and a place in my life that I had never been before. Through the prayer counseling/training I was in a safe and loving environment where I felt the freedom to confront things that I had kept safely buried and hidden for in some cases most of my life. The healing that took place each time I attended a retreat/training weekend was unlike anything I had ever experienced. One weekend in particular we had attended the Friday night sessions and it was during one of those talks that something was mentioned relating to birthdays and sadness. Well my radar was bleeping big time!! My internal metal detector was deafening. The speaker talked about how some people struggle terribly around their birthdays and so we should know to ask questions like - What were the circumstances surrounding your birth? Was it planned? Happily anticipated? What kind of pregnancy did your mother have? What were the circumstances of your conception - relate these to the time of year they took place etc. - you get the idea. Due to of all the sad, secretive and just plain unpleasant circumstances surrounding my birth, I knew that this was something I needed to examine and have broken off me, and ultimately seek healing for through prayer. Well, I know now, that I must be one of His favorites, because that very same evening after most everyone had turned in for the night, the ministry house was quiet and myself and one other woman were the only ones still up. We talked and through conversation ended up discussing the sadness and struggles that I had always felt around my birthday. I was not planned, not wanted, nor was I happily anticipated - no wonder I had such a hard time embracing the whole "it's my birthday, let's celebrate me" mind set. This dear lady asked if she could she pray for me and with me, I was grateful for the opportunity to address this issue so soon after the light bulb had gone on. One of the things that had been suggested in the talk earlier in the evening was that, when working with someone who had issues surrounding their birth, to join with them before the Lord ask Him to show the person where He was at the time of their birth, what was His perspective of things. While she prayed a picture began to form in my mind, there was a painted cinder block wall in the delivery room, which Jesus broke through and He walked directly over to the delivery table and took me from the Doctor, cradled me in His arms out in front of His body and He was smiling the most marvelously brilliant smile I have ever witnessed, He sang to me , but not in words, more in emotions - it was stunning!! He slowly and joyfully and effortlessly danced around the delivery room with me in His arms, looking into my eyes with more love than I have ever known . I was so filled with His joy and love for me. I wept and wept but not from sadness, I immediately felt the absolute love and joy and knew the healing that had taken place through this prayer vision was what I had been seeking without even knowing I needed it!!

This experience was in the early Spring so when Fall rolled around, I was anxious to see how I would handle myself as my birthday drew nearer. I prayed and prayed and called out the enemy telling him in no uncertain terms that I was worthy of celebration and that he would no longer rob me of the joy and pleasures associated with turning another year older. He had the first 44 years, birthdays 45 onward belonged to me and my Creator!! So it was this time last year, a week before my birthday and I was armed with knowledge and healing and the joy of the Lord was my strength, the enemy was not invited to my party. I even did a little extra celebrating, starting about a week ahead with a good old fashioned night out with the girls dinner with my Mama Leisha Girls and several other events as the week went on. I did well and was happy and having fun!!

I am pleased to report that my 45th birthday was delightful!! I spent the day in Tennessee with The Principal and WonderBoy, we went to Falls Mill, letterboxed in and around Lynchburg, TN where we had a wonderful lunch on the square in at a neat down home BBQ spot. We drove around the countryside and even stopped at a place on Hwy 64 in Belvidere, TN called Swiss Pantry - I love to go there and get home baked Amish Cowboy Cookies!! We stopped on the way home and picked up some yummy deli salads, olives and crusty bread and had a picnic at home for dinner, we did gifts and my guys got me a cake that said Happy Birthday Princess/Mom on it - of course I cried!! It was a fabulous day.

Well this year, The Principal is excited that he can celebrate without fear of repercussion or certain failure, so much so that we have been joking about "Birthday Week" for sometime now. This morning, he woke me at 6am with a sweet kiss, told me the coffee was ready and a cheerful "Happy Birthday Week Honey" and after we made up the bed he said he would see me downstairs for coffee. When I walked into the restroom to do my morning business, this is what I found.......one of my very favorite things in the whole wide wonderful world is when my sweet husband makes me a card (especially if he draws a picture or scene of some sort- they are my favorite of the favorites) or writes me a note, so all by itself the note/card would have put a smile on my face and a tear in my eye. The fact that I am out of good body lotion and dry skin season is ready to jump into high gear is a fabulous bonus. And I have to tell you.....something almost as wonderful as this happened later today, but I'll wait and share that with you tomorrow - Birthday Week has begun ;-) I'm celebrating that My Father in Heaven loves me and regardless of what the circumstances were that gave me life, He celebrates me and that is more than enough good reason for me to put on a smile and join Him!!
Psalm 27:10 tells us ....
Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.
...... and He did ..... with a joyous smile, pure love and we danced ;-)


Lisa Laree said...

...and not a single Kleenex within reach...what a fantastic testimony of grace!!! And Happy Birthday Week!!!

Kristie @ Me and My House said...

Yay! I'm so glad you've learned to celebrate each new year. I love to spend my birthday week reflecting on all He has done in my life over the past year. I end up crying a lot of joyful tears that week. I'm glad you are getting a birthday week too!

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