Weed Whacking 101

Can you believe it ? I found my way out and had to think for a moment until I remembered my password to log in and see how much Blogger had changed in the last month and then some. I feel funny with this window in front of me ......I started to head here many times in the past month and a half but something stopped me every time - that feeling of being overwhelmed mainly. Not that that is a unique feeling at this time of year - I just started a little early I suppose - must be the over achiever in me huh? lol

Are you even a little bit curious about how I found my way back out of the weeds? Well I can't claim to be completely free of them in all honesty, but I did make it this far and the fine looking piece of machinery pictured above had nothing to do with it. My greatest tool, weapon, piece of equipment, etc. was quite simply where I should have looked from the get go and where I should have been all along, for if I had, the weeds would have been nothing more than passing scenery...............simple right? Obvious I know, BUT......how bad did things have to get before I was clutching in desperation to the instruction manual I needed from the Maker of my soul? They got bad , and they didn't get better right away either. I was running on fumes, fumes of fumes perhaps. I don't even know how or why it started I just know that I wasn't aware of it until I was pretty far gone - not the point of no return, because if we are in Him there is no such place - PTL, but I bet I was a block or two away.

When I did some soul searching and followed the advice of a reader by laying it all out to God and asking Him which things He would have me do, some things no longer seemed as critical, I was able to draw a deeper slower breath on occasion.

I was still praying and getting in the word sporadically, but not every day, when I made the commitment to do just that - every day, when I humbled myself and laid it at His feet every day, that was when I felt the shift and the change taking place.

We know what we need to do and I have asked it out loud more times than I could count - Why is it so hard to do the things that we know are good for us ? I don't have the answer other than to say that the ruler of this place in which we dwell is the enemy of our soul and he does not desire our best, he will in fact do everything he can to steal, kill and destroy John 10:10.

For now, I am giving Thanks, I am working on getting filled, refueled, recharged and ready for the excitement and blessings that the next few weeks of Christmas and New Years will hold.

May I make a suggestion.......don't allow yourself to fall prey to the busyness and pressures that are rampant at this time of year - make time for Him and with Him every day, you will find that if you do, He will make sure you have time to do all you need to and maybe even a little time for some of the wants as well ;-)

In The Weeds.....

Several years ago now a woman who worked for me part time was going through menopause which she described as "being in the weeds", although I am certainly at an age that makes me potentially eligible for that wonderful time of life, I don't claim it, I do however admit to being in the weeds.......that's where I have been as some of you have emailed to ask. I don't know what happened - one day everything was going along at it's normal pace of chaos and then BAM! I found myself tangled up in the weeds!

Does this ever happen to you? What do you do to get out ? I have been struggling to keep up....... school, blogging, parenting, taking proper care of myself, taking proper care of my sweet husband, books on loan from the library to read, letters to be written and just my responsibilities in general, not to mention the long long list of things I would love to have the time to pursue.

So....... I am physically weary and emotionally drained and feel defeated before the day really begins because my 'To Do List' is longer than I have time to really read and process. I would love to tell you I have it together and will be back up and running and you can look forward to a myriad of wonderful posts in the days ahead......I really would love to tell you that....here is the truth......I have lots of pictures taken and have lots of things to share. I have been baking Artisan Bread - WOW is all I can say about that right now. We have been on more field trips, we took a civil war train ride this past weekend, bought a new to us vehicle the weekend before that which we went to another state to get. I had a wonderful phone call from an old high school friend the day after my birthday which is still giving me cause to smile, I survived my birthday and yesterday we celebrated The Principal's birthday, did I mention I have been baking Artisan Bread?? (btw - has anyone ever had a Pampered Chef Pizza Stone crack in the oven while baking???) I have been cleaning and cooking and running errands and being a wife and mother and neighbor and friend and I am running on empty. Through it all I have to remember that I am a child of the King and in Him I live and breath and have my being and in all of this there are some wonderful stories of victory which I also want to share.....God is good - SO GOOD and without Him I would have nothing but defeat to share. I have a testimony over fear to share and plans for Thanksgiving in Virginia with family to prepare for and a giveaway to post and on and on.

So tell me, where shall I begin? What do you want to know about most, see pictures of and what wonderful pearls of wisdom can you offer.....oh and I have a new to us vehicle to name!! Cars in our family must have names, this is mandatory. We have had this vehicle over a week and she/he remains nameless - we have tried a few out for size but none are sticking......Bella didn't work, Pearl was not the one, Lily is next on the list.......Lucy and Chuck are in the driveway patiently waiting for the name of the new white big shot that just took over the garage......the list goes on.......oh and by the way....can anyone recommend a good non-toxic weed killer??? ;-)

Chewing On It

I haven't posted for the last few days because I have been chewing on what I want to say and how to say it. I don't think I'm there yet, but I want to try to articulate at least a little of what is going on between my ears. Here's the thing.....I feel like I am being pulled in a new direction, one that is way out of my comfort zone and I'm not at all sure how to start or how it will be received - by you. SO...I thought today I would share a little of what is rumbling around in my spirit lately and try and get some feedback from you dear readers.

I desire to be transparent and pull back the curtain that I have been hiding behind (that I think most of us hide behind), you know that one I am talking about, the one that is more flattering to our unsightly bulges and less than appealing flaws - let's be real - we all have them. I think by keeping them under wraps I/we are giving them way too much power and I think it is time that I/we learn to take some risks and be real with each other. News flash - alert the media - I struggle !! Ok - take a deep breath and get a hold of yourself - it's true I do. I struggle to hold my tongue, I struggle to keep a loving attitude at all times, I struggle to do what is right and good, I struggle to be the kind of wife and mother that I really want to be. I struggle to find the good in others at times, but mostly in myself at all times. I struggle to feel I have value, that I do anything well and the list goes on. I understand the reasons behind some of these struggles, for many of them have been my companions for many, many years, but of course knowing does not always lead to immediate healing, it is a journey.

For me it has been a long one - 46 years in just a few weeks. I have some things surrounding my upcoming birthday that I would like to share as well, that will come in another post or maybe even a mini series (that makes me smile) of posts.

I will still post a recipe, offer a homeschool thought or share a letterboxing adventure, but I am thinking about introducing a new element that I have only touched on briefly here and there. Getting real, getting personal and talking about hard things, tender topics - all the things that are the real reasons behind the name of this blog His Grace Alone. It is by His grace alone that I am able to sit here in my comfortable home, while married to a wonderful man and homeschool my only son and share anything with you at all. I am scared of what you are thinking right now, curious if you will even respond and very hopeful that there are a few kindred souls out there that feel the same way I do, who will step forward to join me.

I would LOVE IT if you would leave a comment if you took the time to read this far and give me your honest thoughts and ideas, topics of interest etc. I really would love for this to be more of a blessing to others, than therapy for me!!