Ten Years of (Wonder)Boy Joy!!

May 1st, 2011 WonderBoy turned 10 years old. We were without power due to the storms that came through our area April 27th. For that reason and lack of a properly functioning computer, I was not able to do a post for his birthday as I would have like to, so this is that post....Happy Belated Birthday Sweetie!!
The words whirlwind, wow!!,tornado, one man show and full steam ahead all parade across my mind when describing my sweet boy. He is FULL to overflowing with life, energy, curiosity and a live life large spirit! I was recently blessed by my sweet husband with a new laptop for Mother's Day and in the process of going through files on the old laptop and transferring and cleaning out files I had a very teary eyed stroll down memory lane. The 21 Days of Prayer for Our Sons is just about halfway completed now and I thought this was an ideal time to share with you some of the moments from the last 10 years that will be forever etched in my mother's heart of the gifts that WonderBoy has brought to my life. I am so grateful to Brooke for this prayer challenge by the way - it has given me new vision and perspective that I knew I needed just wasn't great at getting in my own efforts.
Everyday as I pray, I see new ways to pray, new areas that would benefit from prayer and even where prayers of the past and been answered and where God is moving in WonderBoy's heart. Beginning with Day 1 I prayed that God would give me His eyes to see my son through - what an amazing view and perspective I am seeing emerging, my heart is being softened and I find I am not as quick to pounce on some things as I may have been in the past - just being real ;-) I pray that God will continue to work in me as I lift WonderBoy to Him in prayer, afterall a learning, growing and healing mom is a blessing to any son!
Take a minute with me if you will and allow me to share some of my favorite moments from the 10 years that have moved as he does - in a flash!
Dear God, Thank You for these 1o years of motherhood, these 10 years of love, laughter, tears, craziness, confusion, struggles and triumphs.
Thank You Father for guiding us through the dark places when our flashlights were out of batteries.
Thank You for the heart of joy that you have given this child. Thank You for his good health and for his infectious smile!I pray Lord that he will know you and seek you all the days of his life.I pray that your ways will become his ways.I pray that Your approval will be the only approval he will come to seek in this world.I pray that he will know and hear Your voice and allow it to be his guide all the days of his life Father.
I pray he would honor you in word and deed and seek to be a man of honor always.
Thank You God for my son - Bless him today and always in the name of your precious son I pray.Amen.

I'm linking up with other 21 Days of Prayers for Our Sons moms here, take a minute and visit some of them if you can!

Matters of the Heart

I just completed my morning quiet time of prayer for WonderBoy. This is Day 3 of the 21 Days of Prayer for Our Sons that I am so excited to be part of. Today's prayers are centered around Avoiding Foolishness. This is good stuff - meat and potatoes that you can sink your teeth into prayer! I am loving it!!
Day 1 started things off with Obedience - is there a child (or adult for that matter) that does not struggle with issues of obedience? Nature of the human condition regardless of age and why prayer in this area is SO important - only God can change hearts.
Day 2 was a logical progression from Obedience to Submission to Authority. This dear readers is a hot topic in our home! It continues to amaze and confound me how this whole thing works. Let me give you a little history/insight....curtain is down on this, this is the real deal raw truth. My sweet son has some pretty major issues with Submission to Authority. My husband and I have little to no challenges in this area of our lives, we have our share of issues in other areas rest assured and I intend to be as transparent as I can be about those too in the interest of full disclosure ;-)
As you may or may not be aware from reading my ramblingsin the past, I am a survivor of divorce. WonderBoy's dad and I were together for the better part of 10 years all total, our marriage dissolved right at a year after WonderBoy was born. The reasons and gory details of all that are best left for another post entirely which, by the way has been brewing in the background of my thoughts for a while - so far I'm so sure how to put it all together - but I am thinking a series of posts about marriage (feel free to pray for me on this one).
Onward. Dad is not an ideal role model of Submission to Authority on any level but does provide many excellent examples of the consequences of what being out the God's Will in this area of life will produce. So how is it then, that the people you spend the most time with, the ones that are training and guiding, the ones sowing seed and watering growth, encouraging, sacrificing, grooming and doing all they know to be what a child needs to grow to the man of God they are called to be, have the least amount of influence? It leaves me downright flabbergasted. Onward. This is an area of prayer that we need to meet on our knees in full battle gear on an ongoing daily basis. The thing is that until WonderBoy's heart is changed little of what we do or say will have any desired impact. Only God can change a heart of stone.

Ezekiel 36:26-27
New Century Version (NCV)

26 Also, I will teach you to respect me completely, and I will put a new way of thinking inside you. I will take out the stubborn hearts of stone from your bodies, and I will give you obedient hearts of flesh.27 I will put my Spirit inside you and help you live by my rules and carefully obey my laws.

This whole issue of Heart has been coming up so much that it cannot be ignored. It is, I believe, the very root of where our battles must be waged from. The Principal is currently working through Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp (a wonderful book that I highly recommend) with his men's bible study lunch group each Wednesday and gaining wonderful insight in this area. We are constantly talking about issues of the heart. I am curretnly reading The Five Love Language of Children by Ross Campbell and Gary Chapman (another worthwhile read, which mentions time and time over about these issues of the heart. I am thinking that this is the road - the narrow road I am to follow. Would you be inclined to agree? I have been praying for years that God would show me how to 'get through' to WonderBoy and I no longer believe in coincedences. The timing of all these things is in His design for a time such as this!!
And if all this is not enough, WonderBoy asked if we could spend the day painting recently, so yesterday we gathered together our supplies and with a vision and a plan, this is what my son produced......

Ok Lord, gotcha! ;-)
This post is part of a blog hop in which I will be participating each Friday during the 21 Days of Prayer for Our Sons. I am on a team being led by Jodi at Granola Mom 4 God. Please take a minute to visit Jodi and some of the other Mom's on my team and share in what God is doing in and through them throughout this journey.

Builders, Take Heart!

I was taking a few minutes to go through old emails in my inbox this morning when I came across this gem and realized quickly why it remained there almost a year later....

If I remember the story correctly, a friend gave a mother the gift of a book on the cathedrals of Europe with this inscription:
"To _______, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees."
The book pointed out how the craftsmen who built these great edifices usually didn't see them completed in their lifetime.
And there is the story of one craftsman who was carving a bird on top of a beam and was asked why, because no one would see it.
He replied that God would. Wow!


It was almost as if the woman heard God whispering to her, "I see you, ________. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become."
"I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder."
"As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right, and one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women."
Have realistic expectations of yourself. Instead of comparing yourself…, recognize your own gifts and talents, your limitations, your specific family circumstances. It's no mistake that your children got you as a parent – it's by God's design!
Recognize spiritual warfare for what it is. The mind is the enemy's battlefield. I had to be reminded to take captive every harsh thought about my children, every selfish thought about my own entitlements in life, every self-pitying thought about being a less-than-perfect homeschool mom. I learned that the enemy really can't take away my joy, but he sure can influence me to give it up! If you are committed to raising warriors for God, your family is a target for battle, and you may want to take inventory of your Ephesians 6 armor.

Recognize the source of true joy. When I am spending time in God's presence, I can choose to be joyful, to speak gently and cheerfully, and to recognize that I am blessed to have this season with my children.

Be encouraged by this today Dear Sister Friends!

Instructions Not Included.....

I am going to take a rather tentative step onto my soapbox - tentative because I have no idea what kind of response I will receive once I get there and speak my peace, but here goes....first of all, the disclaimers.... I am not a perfect parent raising a perfect child, the truth of the matter is that we are both so far from anything in that realm that it truly is laughable. SO keeping that in mind allow me to proceed. Those of you who know me personally know that I struggle from time to time with behavior issues - not just my own - Wonderboy can be a pill ;-) We have tried many of the 'techniques' commonly prescribed as well as a few of our own creative invention. Some have worked better than others, some for just a season and some were nothing more than a waste of effort and brain cells. Rearing offspring is no easy undertaking and certainly not for the faint of heart - at least not in the this household. There are as many parenting theories and approaches as there are kids to try them out on it seems, kind of like eating trends there seems to always be some new trend that is bigger, better, shinier. I tend to be an old fashioned kind of gal - you know the 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' school of thinking. This has more or less served me quite well overall. I have to confess however that there have been times when the 'shiny new thing' has captured my attention and wooed me away from good old fashioned common sense. Sadly, this has been true in my parenting journey.
Well after many tears, MUCH prayer and countless days of feeling alone, hopeless and quite honestly ready to turn in my Mom card, I finally reached a point where I had had enough and the line was drawn in the sand. Failure was not an option, so I did what any self respecting Mother does in this day and age - I did a web search. It was during that process I came across the book that I am currently 4 chapters into, It Takes a Parent by Betsy Hart. Betsy is my kind of girl - a no nonsense, common sense, straight shooter who says it plain and doesn't sugar coat it - I liked her right away and knew that she had something to offer in the pages of her book. Now keep in mind - I am only 4 chapters in and I have another 9 to go, but I like what I have read so far because it makes sense. She makes no promises, no get rich quick schemes and in doing this puts some power and authority back where it belongs - in the hands of the parents!! Imagine that? The big light went on for me when she shared an incident where she was getting some less than desirable attitude from her one of her daughters and the interaction that followed....this was where my moment of ah ha came in "And one thing I didn't do was to ask her why she was behaving the way she was. Kids almost never know why they do the upsetting things they do. Let's face it, that's true for many adults too. It's often up to us parents to help interpret for our kids what's going on in their hearts." I sat there and saw a slide show of countless conversations that had taken place in the past few years in which the question was asked repeatedly.....why?? Why did you lie? Why did you disobey? Why this, why that....and you want to guess what the number one and still reigning answer is and has been - drum roll please......"I DON'T KNOW" !!!! Much to our continued frustration and angst!! Imagine that - he may have been telling the truth all this time - he really doesn't know!!! I've had a hunch about this once or twice because I know the looks and saw the heart behind those looks - he really doesn't know, this is not just a pat cop out answer to shut us up - well not all the time in any case ;-) I could go on and on and on, for now I have said all this to say this.....we need to know our children, lead their hearts and teach them right from wrong. This is not a popular parenting mantra of late, but look at what is going on in the world around us - I am not raising a child for society, I am raising a child for God and I am the one who will have to answer for what I take the time and effort to teach and what I allow to root and grow in his life. Is it easy? No way, in fact it is without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done - but he is worth it!!
I am taking my stand here on this soapbox and in my home - I love my son too much to leave him the way he is and allow what society says is ok to be ok. I am raising a boy to become a man, who will be able to lead his family, to love his wife and teach his children in the ways of the Lord. I am raising a man, one who will reflect his Father, my Father, your Father and bring Him honor in all he does and says. I will no longer tolerate the rolling eyes, the irritated grunts and sighs, the lazy behaviors, the sub-standard efforts, the lying, the disrespectful words, action or behaviors because I am weary and have no tidy little solutions. I owe it to my God, my son, my future daughter in law and grandchildren to raise a man who will be a man of character and honor and to myself, because God chose me to do just that!
I am rolling up my sleeves, digging in my heels and persevering to the end, the outcome far out weighs the effort in value. Betsy Hart has given me some hope along the way that I needed pretty desperately when I came across it - accidental? I think not - God is into the details remember ;-) SO.... I wanted to share this today, in case you may have to travel some of the same roads we do on occasion and could use a little encouragement, some refreshing and a much needed dose of perspective and common sense in this crazy world in which we live. Betsy has a blog which I have not yet had much time to poke around, but look forward to seeing what other nuggets are there that I once knew and have foolishly cast away for the bigger, newer, shinier nuggets that the latest snake oil salesmen were selling....

Training Him Up.......

God gives them to us and commands us to raise them for Him. A daunting task, some days even a desperate one that I often feel ill equipped to complete on any level much less with any measure of success. I have pleaded out loud and only half jokingly on more than one occasion "why didn't he come with some kind of instruction manual ?" Truth is he did - we all did, unfortunately, my concordance does not have sass or back talk in it, does yours ? Those ready answers in the moment are the hard part.
WonderBoy came plowing down the stairs like a herd of small elephants early this morning with a dazed look and tear filled eyes, didn't take an award winning Mom to figure out there was a problem. A bad dream. So I tucked him happily on the love seat across the room from me with the favorite soft and cozy teddy bear blanket and went back to what I had been reading. It never ceases to amaze me how incredibly sweet, innocent and borderline angelic they look when asleep.... He slept sweetly for about an hour when he woke again, bad dream long forgotten, at this point it was time to start the day. One of the things that I love best about homeschooling in the flexibility it affords us each day. If there is a sinus headache or friend in need we are able to work around these things - it is such an amazing blessing, especially after being a single mom with zero options of flexibility for several years I appreciate it so deeply!
This year we are focusing more on training and character building than we have in the past. The academics are as important as ever, but truthfully I feel for our family right now at the season in which we find ourselves character building is what Father God is calling us to. So how does a parent go about building the character of an often less than co-operative 9 yr. old into something that brings honor and glory to our Heavenly Father ? Well honestly, I haven't got the foggiest! After all, I'm still working on many many aspects of my own faulty character!!
This is of course where listening and observing come into play - God gave us 2 ears and 2 eyes versus 1 mouth for a reason.....see I am learning a little here and there ;-) So I have been instructing and then stepping back and waiting to see the fruit of my labors. Fruit is an interesting thing, at times it arrives ripe and juicy right in season and at other times it shows up when you expect it but has a rank odor that tells you that something is not quite right. Then there is the fruit that arrives unexpectedly, out of season but is fresh and lovely and a true surprise and delight............
After many efforts to teach sorting and other associated laundry tasks, one day a laundry helper arrived unannounced in my laundry room, with an eager and willing heart to serve. He has continued to return now on a weekly basis. I don't have to tell you how wonderful this is !! We have verbally praised all his efforts and encouraged further participation. You've heard the expression "strike while the iron is hot"? Well that is just what I intend to do.....have I ever mentioned that I do not like to iron......to me unless you happen to have some wonderful room sized closet, ironing is a waste of time in advance because everything just ends up all creased again in the closet (ask me how I know this - I once thought it best to get it all over with at one time - wrong!)....So ironing is next on the list and PTL there is an interest already surfacing!!! God really does know the desires of our hearts ;-) After that, well the possibilities are endless but I do have a few ideas.......see the soap on the top of the tank....it says "Blessed" and let me tell you....I will be when someone else is cleaning this ;-) The brush is conveniently located and everything - this will ensure a daughter in law who doesn't have me put in a home down the road wouldn't you think?

Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Isn't this part of the instructions after all? ;-)

Quick item of housekeeping - midnight tonight is the deadline for entries on my very first super fabulous wonderful minty root hugger soap giveaway....scroll down and leave a comment or become a follower of my blog either or both will get you an entry - I will post the winner tomorrow!!

What the Teacher Learned.....

Last weekend I attended a conference with a sweet friend from church. We are about to begin our 5th year of homeschooling and this is my first conference, but is should come as no surprise that the timing was exquisite!

I have talked with moms who have gotten wonderful unit study plans and ideas, been inspired by new teaching methods and come home with a trunk load of great deals on new curriculum. I did not have my mind directed to any one path and was anticipating that God would meet me there at my greatest point of need - which of course He was clearer on than I was ;-) Well, I was not at all disappointed! I did come home with a few books - none of them curriculum mind you. I came home refreshed by the wonderful fellowship that we enjoyed and feeling that I had made some new "mom" friends - can never have too many of those. I came home tired and a little weary - sleeping on a camp bunk bed was not restful in any way shape or form. The thing that I came home with that took up no space in the car and cost nothing but that I believe will transform our homeschool experience from this day forward was completely unexpected but was of course what I needed more than anything and didn't realize it - FREEDOM!! A big beautiful, customized just for us, tied up with a gorgeous bow, dose of FREEDOM!!

Now let me tell you a little about me and my homeschooling methods, I am by nature, a rule follower - always have been. If a worksheet has 30 math problems we should complete all 30 regardless of how easy/hard they are, and we are not done or ready to move on to anything else until all 30 are done. Cross those T's and dot those I's - I am all about do it right and do it well!!

My paradigm got an extra large and less than gentle shift and oh my - Wonderboy could not be happier ;-) When I left to attend the conference we had about enough work to fill a week left to complete, when I arrived home Saturday night I announced that 3rd Grade was officially done, much to the delight of all involved parties.

Let me share with you the simple truths that brought me to this glorious place called Freedom. The beauty of this is in it's simplicity. Light drives out darkness. What matters most to us as parents who are raising our children for God is who they are not what they know right? Success in our eyes as Christians does not look the same as it does to the rest of the world. Sure, I would love for Wonderboy to excel at his chosen path and earn a good income, have a good life and not live in want, but more than that, I want him to be a man of godly character and wisdom, a man of heart who reflects Jesus in all he says and does - this is not any measure of success in the world in which we live. In the United States today, we educate based on a system that was/is designed to provide an abundant, compliant workforce that would bolster the economy and keep the machine operating at maximum capacity. We are not producing thinkers, we are telling our kids what to think. For more on this - and there is more, I would challenge you to read Dumbing us Down: The Hidden Curriculm of Compulsory Education by John Taylor Gatto.

Andrew Pudewa was one of the keynote speakers at the Annual CHEF State Conference. I found him to be an engaging and inspiring speaker with an ability to cut away all the excess and get right to the meat of things. A homeschooling dad of seven, he is well equipped to share from many places within the homeschool journey and provide living examples of what he was 'ministering' to the audience. I always trust someone who has walked it out and can sight real examples over the long haul -several of his children are now grown and functioning adults. One of the things that he talked about that hit me smack up the side of the head was that if we are having character issues with our kids that we should deal with these before any academic training takes place. He spoke of one of his children that was struggling in various areas and how they chose to put all academics on hold while they focused completely on getting the areas of character where they needed to be. The result he says is a child who is self motivated and has a God given desire to learn because they want to learn not because they have to. This was a remarkable idea to me!

The idea is this - pray for your child and seek God's will for their life, allow Him to birth and direct their passions and be obedient to encourage and facilitate them. By allowing our children to pursue what they love we equip them with a love of learning that will last a lifetime and extends far beyond what is considered to be 'school'. This was huge freedom to me - and yes we will still do bible, math, science, language arts, history and geography BUT we will do it with passion and pleasure and not the 'have to' mentality which robs all joy from the journey.

Somewhere recently I heard/read that as we seek God and home educate our children that we walk completely in the center of His will. I want to be there and lead by example that this will be the way of life without question for the generations that follow.

Wonderboy is a complex and wonderful child, God has privileged me beyond words by trusting me with his care and upbringing. I so want to bring a smile to His face and be told "well done, good and faithful servant" when I answer to Him for our homeschool years. Seeking Him and allowing Him to guide our steps is the key to it all and although that is not new, the perspective is - Freedom Academy is now open with an enrollment of one.

That Saturday night when I returned from the conference, I told Wonderboy I had one last assignment for him to complete 3rd Grade - a list of things that he would like to learn about in 4th Grade. He sat a moment and launched into a list which I told him he would have to write down (you understand - it's an age thing ) the list included - Lewis & Clark, Sacajawea, The Titanic, China, The Salem Witch Trials, Slavery, Klu Klux Klan and several more that escape me at the moment.

I am so looking forward to 4th Grade - I certainly have plenty to learn!

Learning as I go,

Leisha

White Board Wisdom

In Wonder Boy's room is a white board which I write on every night after he falls asleep - I don't remember now exactly how this grew into what it has, but I think it started when we were teaching him to read and write and we ended our evenings with a game of hangman on his white board right before lights out and prayers. Many of you may have heard some of the white board stories - they are really gathering a following of sorts it would seem. A friend from church came by our home for the first time the other day to pick up her daughter and said "so this is the famous white board" when getting the tour of Wonder Boy's room. In any case, this has really become a fantastic Mommy tool as well. I use the white board to reward and acknowledge good behavior and jobs well done, to leave gentle loving Mommy reminders in areas where we are praying for success, to count down to big events, to announce surprises, to help encourage A's on spelling tests, to allow God to speak thru scripture and of course to let Wonder Boy know how much he is loved.

SO....the other night I was doing laundry and folding socks and Wonder Boy was asking me one of the many million questions that he typically asks in a day when we got on the topic of prayer - I am a little fuzzy on the starting point of the conversation to be honest as it was probably only at this point that I fully tuned in. In any case I was explaining to him that you did not have to pray only for the "usual things in the usual ways" that you could pray in the shower, when you are washing dishes and I started giving him some examples of some of the not so usual times and places that I pray. I told him that I pray over food when I am preparing it especially if it is for someone in need or ill. I told him that I pray for people in the grocery store when they look tired and in need of a lift. I told him that I pray over laundry all the time, when I am hanging shirts on a hanger, I will pray that the wearer will be blessed with energy to do God's work each day, I told him that I pray over his socks, that God will bless his comings and goings and that he will walk with God throughout his life. Well this just tickled him that I would pray over his socks....so that night when it came time to do the white board here is what I did.

God gives each of us many opportunities each day in the midst of the ordinary and mundane to make a difference in the lives of those we love through prayer. I have found a calling with a white board and a package of dry erase markers - I invite you to look at what you do each day and be encouraged that God has a white board for you to use. Wonder Boy got up the next morning and came running downstairs giggling and gave me the biggest hug and said "Mommy I LOVE my board today".

It doesn't get much better than that !

Leisha